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| Jokes >> Santa Banta Santa Ne Car Se 4Logo Ko Daba Diya Judge-Tumne Sarab V Nai Pi Thi Fir V Ye Q kiya? Santa- Sir IDEA Walo Ne Kha Tha Ki Is Gaane K Liye 4Dabaye Santa: kya tum pass ho Gaye banta: Ha,hamari puri class pass ho Gyi But hmari madam fail ho gayi santa: kese banta: wo abhi B usi class me pdha rahi he Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi? Girl: Tameez se baat karo. Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge संता की तपस्या से खुश हो कर भगवान बोले: वर मांगो वत्स. संता: प्रभु! जैसा आप सोच रहे हैं मैं वैसा नहीं हूं. मुझे वधु चाहिए. Teacher: Can you see God? Class: No Teacher: Can you touch God? Class: No Teacher: Then there is no God! (Few minutes later) Santa: Sir, can you see your brain? Teacher: No Santa: Can you touch your brain? Teacher: No Santa: Oho ok, so you have no brain! Ptrol pump se 21 KM door Fauji truck ka ptrol khtm ho gya.. Santa driver ne Major ko btaya ke Ptrol pump tk dhka lgana pdega.. Sub nechy utrkar Dhkka Lgane lge.. kafi der bad pump pr pohnch gae.. Kuch jwan behosh ho gae.. santa ne ptrol dlwana shuru kiya to Major ne kaha k Piche jo drum hai, Us me b dalwa Lo.. Santa - Wo to full hai, Emrgency k lie rakha hai... एक बार संता पिज़्ज़ा हट पर फ़ोन करता है और कहता है; संता: हैलो क्या आप पिज़्ज़ा हट से बोल रहे हैं! मैनेजर: जी बताइये सर मैं आपकी क्या सहायता कर सकता हूँ! संता: भाई मैं बता तो दूं पर आप मेरी वह सहायता करेंगे नहीं! मैनेजर: नहीं सर आप बताइये तो सही मैं आपकी पूरी पूरी सहायता करूँगा! संता: तो फिर बता कि मैं घर पर पिज़्ज़ा कैसे बनाऊँ? Teacher: "Aise koi 5 animal ke naam batao jo pani me rahte hai.." Student: Fish, Fish ki Mummy, Fish ke Papa, Fish ka bhai, Fish ki Sister... Santa singh after reaching 13th question: Amitabh: apka 13th question 25 lakh yeh raha apke samne… Contestant santa singh is tensed. Amitabh: who is the father of abhishek bachchan computer screen: A. Amitabh bachchan b. Laloo prasad yadav C. Mohd. Azhar d. General perverz musharaff. Amitabh: apka kya jawab hai? (he is quite sure that santa will opt for a) But santa is still confused. Amitabh: apke pas do life line hai… (50:50 and phone a friend) Santa: i think it is a but am not sure. Amitabh: not sure… hmmm ap kya karna chahenge? Santa: i would like to use 50:50? Amitabh: ok computer, 2 galat javabo ko mita de... Computer: B. Laloo prasad yadav. C. Moh. Azhar. Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made this mistake but as is said in bollywood the show must go on. Now santa is confused. Santa: i would like to use the last lifeline phone a friend... Amitabh: ap kisko phone karna chahenge? Santa: mein jaya bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga... World's Fastest Four guys, one each from Harvard, Yale, MIT University and SANTA SINGH from India's Punjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common question was asked to all of them. INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD? YALE Guy: It is Light, nothing can travel faster than Light. HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; because thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind. MIT Guy: Its Blink, you can blink and it's hard to realize you blinked SANTA SINGH: Its Loose Motion INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply) "WHY"? SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over !! Wife ne santa ko SMS kiya: Kitni der me Aa rahe ho Santa ne Jawab me SMS kiya: 20-25 mint me Aa rha hu Agar Der ho jaye to ye SMS fir se Padh lena.... Santa:tumne Us Ladki Ke Liye Cigratte Chhod Di Banta: Ha Santa: Daru Banta: Ha Santa: Jua Banta: Ha Sonu: To Shadi Kyun Nahi Ki Banta: Itna Sudhar Gaya Tha Ke Us Se Bhi Achi Mil Gayi संता: मैं 10 दिन के लिए बाहर जा रहा हूँ। जीतो: जाओ, पर फिर जल्दी आकर मुझे surprise मत करना, वर्ना खुद surprise हो जाओगे। Santa Ne Berozgari Se Tang Aakar Naai Ki Dukan Khol Li, Ek Aadmi Shave Karwane Aaya, Shave Karte Hue Santa Ne Puchha. Santa: “Muchhe Rakhni Hai?” Aadmi: “Haan” Santa Muchhe Kaat Kar Uske Hath Mein Dete Hue Bola. Santa: “Le Rakhle Jahaan Rakhni Hai“ Santa apni bhabhi ko bahut maar raha tha, Logo ne pucha:"kya hua santa..?? . Santa bola:"meri bhabhi acchi aurat nahi hai, . Logo ne pucha:"kyu kya hua..?? . Santa bola:"yaar mere dost mobile pe baat karte hai, jis se bhi puchu:"kis se baat kar rahe ho.. ?? . sab bolte hein: . "TERI BHABHI SE... विदेश यात्रा से लौट कर आये संता ने अपनी बीवी से पूछा – “क्या मैं विदेशी जैसा दिखता हूँ ?” बीवी – “नहीं तो …” संता – “तो फिर लन्दन में एक औरत क्यों पूछ रही थी कि मैं विदेशी हूँ या नहीं …?” Santa enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Santa replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly "A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except our Santaji. He wrote ""DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!" संता को केबीसी खेलने का मौका मिला... वह हॉट सीट पर पहुंचा तो उससे एक सवाल पूछा गया... जवाब मालूम नहीं होने पर संता ने अपनी मां का फोन किया... संता: हैलो मां, मैं संता बोलू रहा हूं केबीसी से... मेरे पिता जी का नाम क्या है... मां: सवाल कितने रुपए का है... संता: एक हजार रुपए का... मां: रहने दे बेटा क्विट कर ले... एक हजार रुपए के लिए घर में तलवारे खिंच जाएंगी...!!! Ek Raat 2 Baje Bahut Tez Baarish Ho Rahi Thi, Santa Ne Ek Aadmi Ke Ghar Ki Bell Bajai Aur Pucha: Dhakka Laga Doge Kya Plz....? Aadmi Neend Me Tha Isliye Mana Kar Dia Aur Andar Aa Gaya Par Fir Use Guilty Feel Hua.... Usne Socha Kabhi Vo Khud Baarish Me Fas Jaye Aur Koi Uski Help Na Karey To.....? Wo Utha Bahar Jaa Ke Bola: Kya Tumhe Abhi Bhi Dhakka Chahiye....? Awaaz Aayi: "Haan" Aadmi: Thik Hai Par Tum Ho Kahan.? Santa: "YAHAN GARDEN ME JHULEY PAR.. |
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